Excerpt About Rejecting Object Relation
One of the primitive forerunners of the rejecting object relation is a soul structure that appears as feelings of not being welcomed or wanted. Upon investigation we can discern this structure in the form of something that wants to attach itself to something else but is not able to, as if it is repulsed. This is a prenatal structure that students frequently encounter, modeled on the process of the fertilized egg trying to implant but having difficulty in the process. It is amazing how the sense of being rejected can start so early when there are no differentiated affects yet, just an impression of a physical process that develops, by integrating more highly structured experiences of being rejected into the rejecting object relation. This shows how far one needs to go to be liberated from these basic object relations that structure one’s soul. Prenatal structures can date to earlier times. Some individuals encounter structures that predate fertilization, as the sperm or ovum. The sperm structure normally manifests as an energetic condition when one feels that one needs to always be on the move, that one cannot rest, or some important opportunity will be lost. Investigating these feelings may take us to feeling small and running fast, running without looking back, but full of the total impulse to go fast and get someplace, without knowing where. These examples of very early structures give us a sense of the depth to which the inner journey goes in the process of the liberation of the soul. This discussion also shows us the depth and extent of the structuring of the soul through which we become shackled before we are even conscious of ourselves.