Excerpt About Realization
So as I was asking questions and getting interested in studying various things, I believed that I was getting interested and that I was doing the inquiry. It turns out that the whole thing was the other way around. So my familiar idea of cause and effect was turned on its head. what is causing what? When I began, I felt that my practice, my work, was leading to realization and, at some point, I saw that it was the other way around—the realization was causing the practice. The realization, as it approaches consciousness, appears first as a practice that will realize the realization because that is how realization realizes itself. Even though now my view of reality was more accurate because of the realization, deeper inquiry showed that I had been appropriating not only the enlightenment drive but also the practice. And further, that I had been appropriating the realization by thinking that I was the cause of realization, that it was my efforts that led to realization. I saw that it was exactly the opposite—the realization caused the practice. The realization generated the questions and the issues and even the life situations and, not only that, but also the people I met and the books I read and the influences that appeared in my life. I saw that the enlightenment drive was what was making me interested in enlightenment, that it truly was the drive of enlightenment expressing itself as my particular practice, whether the practice was of meditation or inquiry. Enlightenment arises and, as it arises, it appears as a drive. The enlightenment drive embodies enlightenment, embodies realization. We get interested in realization precisely because realization is approaching, precisely because realization is manifesting itself.