Excerpt About Parenting
Your parents’ failure to see your real nature does not mean that they do not love you. Even if they love you, are nice to you, provide for you, and even think you are wonderful, it is not the same as actually seeing who you are. Even people who have good parents will still develop this fake shell. The most original you, your center, your spark was not seen; it was not recognized, not responded to, and often it was disapproved of and rejected. If your parents don’t have their own center, their own deep sense of self, they can’t see you. They can see in you only what they see in themselves, regardless of how much they want the best for you and love you. Even if they were to glimpse the real center of you, they would have to defend against this perception, because it would make them feel their own lack. So we could call this phenomenon of identifying with the shell a social disease that has been transmitted through the ages.