Excerpt About Object Constancy
The second quality is Love. object relations theory contends that object love, which is love for a separate and differentiated human person, does not develop until object constancy is attained. In fact, it is part of the definition of object constancy that when it is achieved the individual has the capacity to love another as an individual in his or her own right. According to our perception, Love as a state of the essential Being exists from the beginning of life. Babies exist in this state of Being a great deal of the time. It is this state that we are perceiving when we see a baby as cute and adorable. This aspect is experienced as a gentle and soft presence, that feels fluffy, pure and sweet. One feels the affect of “liking,” of finding pleasure in something or somebody. The development that is called “object love” in object relations theory is simply the channeling of this state by restricting it to one human object. In other words, one directs this aspect of one’s Being to a differentiated other. At the beginning this state exists as the child’s beingness. He feels Love regardless of who or what is there. It is not directed to anything or anybody; it is a state of Being.