Excerpt About Narcissistic Rage
In narcissistic rage, a person reacts to the perceived failure of the response of another person (a self-object) with uncontrolled and irrational anger, defensiveness, negativity, devaluation, and meanness. The reaction is more accurately termed rage than anger, because of its uncontrolled and irrational features. It has several characteristics that differentiate it from other kinds of anger and rage: It feels and appears irrational, for it is greatly out of proportion to the situations that provoke it ..... This gives the rage the quality of being uncontrollable or not easy to control ..... This rage tends also to be acted out because, in addition to righteousness and indignation, there is a sense of entitlement ..... The irrationality and uncontrolled quality make the person closed to others’ responses or reasoning ..... She is very sensitive to narcissistic insults, but the rage makes her unaware of this sensitivity ..... This defense and denial of her unusual sensitivity to failures of the object leads to an attitude of blame ..... This blaming and defensive character of narcissistic rage gives it an isolating quality. It makes her insensitive to and unaware of the condition of the other ..... This schizoid quality is reflected in the actual energetic state of narcissistic rage. She feels, and is perceived by others as, hard and impenetrable, almost inhuman ..... There is a meanness in this reaction, a desire to inflict pain, to get back, to avenge oneself for being slighted and humiliated ..... Narcissistic rage is also characterized by a tendency to devalue the self-object, an intense need to demean and insult him or her ..... Upon investigation, we discover an underlying motive of dissolving her wound by causing a similar wound in the self-object who failed her. It is as if she is trying to displace her wound onto the self-object, through an aggressive, indignant and punishing attitude.