Excerpt About Mental Relationships

The Frustrating Other

The second kind of mental relationship is where the other person is what we call the frustrating other. The other is the yummy one that you always want but you cannot have. That’s why we call the other the frustrating object—exciting, wonderful, but unavailable. I think many people are aware of that relationship. They spend much of their life wanting somebody they cannot have, either in reality or in their dreams. But there is a hope and belief that one of these days you are going to get that thing or that person. You do not understand that that is only the relationship your mind is actualizing all of the time, that you are invested in that kind of relationship. You do not want the satisfaction to become actuality. If you make it become an actuality, you will lose that mental relationship. Then all kinds of new things will happen. So, if you are one who is always involved in the frustrating relationship, you will find that it is important that that relationship continues to be frustrating even though you are always complaining about it. You do not want your hope to become an actuality. If it became an actuality, you would have to become real. So it stays like that: pie in the sky. You pine for something year after year, you are always excited about it, but you cannot have it. That is the frustrating kind of relationship.

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