Excerpt About Legs
Different things arise as you investigate who and what you are. You have some experience of openness, love, curiosity, and strength. For example, maybe one day as you walk down the street, you realize that your knee hurts. You go to the chiropractor. The next week your other knee goes out. The chiropractor fixes it. In a few days your sacrum is not right. The chiropractor won't work, so you go to an acupuncturist. The acupuncturist balances your meridians. You feel great for a whole week. On the eight day, your hip goes out. If you are intelligent, you might start to wonder what’s going on. First this, then that. what is this? Am I getting old? I'm only thirty-five. If you investigate and really sense yourself, you realize at some point that you exist only waist up. You have no legs. No wonder your legs are going out; you've been walking on something that you actually don't feel. Realizing that your lower body, your support, is gone is one of the ways of experiencing the lack of will. After a while it feels as if you can't go on. You haven't got what it takes to continue. The will to persist has disappeared along with the lower half of your body. It’s as if your bones got mushy or leathery, cartilage-like, wobbly. These are ways in which people experience the absence of the actual sense of will. You might get curious at this point and wonder what it means that your legs feel like cartilage. You have bones, but they feel soft. You feel as if you can't walk right. It’s fine to go to a chiropractor if you are hurting, but to know the truth you have to be interested in finding out about this phenomenon. If you are curious about the truth, you follow where your experience leads. You have no legs, no will, you feel castrated, you can't really move. You notice that some armor around your pelvis and legs that used to support your sense of identity is softening. As your investigation into who you are changes that sense of identity, the old support is no longer adequate. If you stay there without resisting and gently, compassionately, and lovingly investigate what’s happening, your strength and courage are engaged. After a while you realize a certain aspect emerges. You see a shift to a more fundamental sense of support. Suddenly your legs are solid, like mountains. Nothing can stop them. One of the ways the aspect of will manifests is as a solidity, an immensity or support for the process of being.