Excerpt About Inquiry (Dialectic)

Mutuality in the Dialectic

In addition to sensitivity and empathy, to openness and interest, there needs to be a measure of mutuality. A relationship does not open up if it is not mutual, if one person is interested while the other isn’t. Mutuality means that two people have a similar degree of interest in one another. If someone has less interest, then a dissonance or disharmony will result that will limit the relationship’s potential. One person wants more than the other wants to give, and it becomes a push/pull situation. For the relational field to open up, mutual curiosity about the other is important—two people who can see one another as having an inner life that is distinct, unique, and interesting. Then two galaxies can come together and create one field that has an interactive synergy. The relational field develops by two fields of consciousness coming together through an interaction in which the two fields become part of one relational field. In fact, sometimes the two fields become simply the one field opening up. When we talk about the relational field, we are talking about a field of consciousness that is participatory on the part of two or more individuals. As we sit in this room together, we are in a field of consciousness; the group field is gaining more presence as we focus on this topic. The group presence is a support for our work. We each add something to it. And every group is different in quality due to the various mix of individuals that comprise it.

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