Excerpt About Idealizing Transference
As we begin to understand this perspective, we may learn that one’s helplessness is based on a delusion: the belief that there is something we need to do in order to be ourselves and the resulting conviction that we can know what it is. This is one of the basic delusions of the ego life of the self. It is inherent in narcissism that we will attempt to do things to support our sense of identity. So the self is always engaged in inner activities of remembering, imaging, identifying, repressing, projecting, idealizing, and various self-manipulations to shore up our insecure sense of identity. We observe this in the inner psychological activity of the bipolar self, the tension arc of Kohut, and its underlying ego activity, which is actually needed to support the normal identity. The issue of real support emerges clearly only after we have penetrated the various external manifestations of this ego activity, and have experienced essential presence directly and immediately. The experience of essential presence functions naturally to expose these psychological activities. And since the idealizing transference is the primary object relation that the self utilizes for support, it becomes the most important area to explore in order to uncover the true state of support and the accompanying wisdom of nondoing.