Individuality
The achievement of a separate individuality depends on two conditions:
- The establishment of a cohesive self-image. In fact, the sense
of being an individual is nothing but taking oneself to be this
self-image. In other words the individual is a mental structure
constructed in the mind. Before this construct is developed,
according to object relations theory, there is no sense of being
a person.
- The internalization of a positively regarded image of the
mother (the "good mother"). The individual, that is
the self-image, is supported psychically by the presence of
the mother's image; thus the child does not feel alone when
physically separate from the mother. He feels supported by the
presence of the mother's image, which gives him a sense of security,
which allows him to be away from her, and makes it safe to regard
her as an autonomous person. (The Pearl Beyond Price, pg 25)

The sense of oneself as a separate individual, which as we have
seen depends upon the development of a cohesive self-image, can
be seen as composed of memories and, in fact, cannot exist without
its connection to memories, to personal history. But the memory
of a person is not the same as a person. The memory is of something
that supposedly existed at some point in the past. (The Pearl
Beyond Price, pg 27)