Excerpt About Human Maturity
Disengaging from the Central Object RelationAnother way we hold on to the central object relation is to reenact it by identifying with either side of it. On one side of it, you're the little kid, relaxed and happy, with daddy and mommy around, your teacher or God taking care of you, essence pouring into you, and you're feeling content. The loss of that object relation will be like the loss of the breast. On the other side, you could be the giving, nourishing breast, and see other people as needing to be taken care of and nourished and supported. Understanding this perspective means also the loss of that position. To be a real human being, mature and down to business, means that you can't only be that nourishing, giving breast, doing everything for the other person. You could lose the central object relation from either end. In both cases, the loss of the object relation means the loss of the comfort, the connection, the security, the support, the nourishment, the fulfillment, and the love that is the chief affect of the central object relation.