Excerpt About Growing Up
Young children are completely involved when they are playing. They are not trying to be something or accomplish something. They might be happily content with the moment, or crying about something, but they are completely in the moment. Then little by little, the child begins to do things to get someone’s reaction or attention, to be good, or to get approval. The child begins to become fake, and after a while the innocence is gone. This is easy to observe when you are around a child growing up. We have forgotten that we too are like that, fake, because we have learned to be subtle and hide it, even from ourselves. But in the early years when the child says something to you, it is often obvious when there is a manipulation of their real experience or desire. They are not subtle at the early stages. As they grow up, they become more subtle and more defended against their impulses and feelings in the moment. Finally, the usual identification with the personality prevails, and we believe that everything we do is real. We have come to believe our own pretensions.