Excerpt About Father

Child’s Intrinsic Need for Modeling by the Father

The soul desires the presence of Brilliancy because the soul needs it in order to feel safe to come out and meet the world, to learn to have a life of her own. The soul has an innate need to see the aspect of Brilliancy, which is a part of herself, because as you know, the soul learns first by seeing things outside herself. As children, we don’t know that we have Essence, with all its aspects and qualities. A young child cannot express and embody the functions of the essential aspects. She needs them to be expressed, to be shown, by the human beings who take care of her. She first sees them in her parents, who, as they embody and express these qualities and functions, become mirrors for her own innate qualities. Then, by identification with her parents, she can manifest those qualities and become more that way. Thus, there is an intrinsic need for modeling of what the child can be by both father and mother. In other words, the child’s need for the presence and functioning of the father is actually the need for a part of her essential self—the aspect of Brilliancy and its qualities and capacities. However, as a child, you don’t see this as the need for yourself; you experience it as the need for your father. People often talk about their father not being there for them in childhood, or say that the father who was there wasn’t the father they wanted. The more deeply you explore what kind of father you wanted, the more you start to describe the qualities of Brilliancy. And the more you know what qualities you needed in your father, the more you recognize the qualities of Brilliancy.

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