Excerpt About Control
In narcissistic rage, a person reacts to the perceived failure of the response of another person (a selfobject) with uncontrolled and irrational anger, defensiveness, negativity, devaluation, and meanness. The reaction is more accurately termed rage than anger, because of its uncontrolled and irrational features. It has several characteristics that differentiate it from other kinds of anger and rage:
• It feels and appears irrational, for it is greatly out of proportion to the situations that provoke it. Also, when a person is in its grip, she does not feel any rationale for it and does not feel the need for any. She simply feels justified in her indignation. She simply feels she is in the right, without any interest in questioning what this right is.
• This gives the rage the quality of being uncontrollable or not easy to control. She does not feel the need to control it, for she is irrationally convinced she is justified. This reaction originates from depths of the self-identity structure which are not available to the conscious mind. This is why this rage is frequently acted out verbally and physically.