Excerpt About Control
We are trying to understand what it is to live life, not the way our parents said it should be, or the way the books say it should be, not according to our ideas or other people’s ideas, but the way it is—how things are according to reality. We want to learn how to let the rose bush produce roses, how to let it be a rose bush rather than trying to change it into something else. We haven’t yet explored the extent to which we try to control things, how much we try to twist reality’s arm. We need to see the situation as completely and as accurately as possible. The problem is not that we want to be happy, but that we are going about it in the wrong way. When we really see that we are going about it in the wrong way, we quit. And then life can unfold on its own. We cannot make it unfold. We can quit our rejection, our judgment, our intolerance, but we will quit these patterns only when we completely and totally see what they are doing—that they are hurting us.