Excerpt About Control
Of course, to commit yourself to the Work so that you can find yourself does not make sense to most people because of their unconscious beliefs about commitment. “What do you mean, commit myself?” asks the unconscious. “If I commit myself, what will be left of me?” We know from our Work how acute and compelling these anxieties are. We recognize that many of these anxieties are unconscious; at first we don’t even know they exist. They just influence us. We can see this in relationships. We know how hard it is to commit ourselves in relationships even when we feel that we have found the person we’ve been looking for and our troubles should now be over. The unconscious says, “Wait a minute! What’s going to happen to me now?” These same unconscious conflicts surface when you want to commit yourself to the Work. So we see that it has been difficult to do the Work because the commitment, the will, the understanding are generally not available due to repressed fears and resistances that are completely unconscious, that control our behavior, and that get stronger if we push against them.