Excerpt About Career
Most of the work on support happens on issues involving other people or careers or interests. Many of your problems with people and relationships have to do with this issue of support. Many of your hurts, many of your rejections, and much of your anger and hatred have to do with these issues. You interact with someone, something happens and you feel you are not supported. Someone says something and you feel they are taking away your support. They might or might not have intended to take your support away. Either way, one of the deepest attacks is when someone says or does something that takes away your support. You might experience something real and tell it to your friend and your friend misinterprets it. They think it means something else. You might feel hurt and experience what has happened as a loss of support. You feel undermined. This happens a lot. It can happen on all levels and in very subtle ways. It is tricky. Little things can have devastating consequences. You can have an interaction with someone or an interaction with the environment that seems to be unimportant, and for a whole week afterward you realize you are feeling lost and you don’t know why. When you trace it back, you remember that a certain person looked at you in a way that indicated she didn’t appreciate you when you were being yourself and that brought about the emptiness, the hole of support. Little by little your external supports will drop away. And as external supports drop away you will feel more and more alone. Feeling alone means that you are integrating your own support. You do not need external support. You do not need props. One of the supports that might fall away in the beginning might be your career. Your career might support your sense of identity and your sense of value, so at some point you have to become free from it.