Relationships

In your relationships with me, and with each other, with everyone in your life, you need to see what is happening, what the relationships are. If we do not clarify, perceive, and live according to the true relationship that is actually happening, there will be no contact. There will be no real relating. There will be only mental interaction, one image interacting with another image. There will not be a real human being relating to another human being; there will be your past interacting with someone else’s past. It is obvious how complicated that can be. If your personal history is interacting with someone else’s personal history, but you are not interacting with the other person, you are not really relating. (Diamond Heart Book 4, pg 187)

Relationships and contact

Because we usually engage in mental relationships instead of real relationships, we are not present and we are not in contact. Contact requires real relationships. Contact means contact with what is actually there, with the actual relationship. The moment you split it, making it all positive or all frustrating or all hostile, you are not in contact. You are in your mind then. You are operating through your thoughts, and emotional reactions which are reacting to your thoughts. You think you are reacting to the other person. No, you are reacting to your thoughts. (Diamond Heart Book 4, pg 194)

Relationships and the courageous heart

The courageous heart is the heart that is always present, regardless of what happens. If your heart is present only if good things happen, your heart is not yet free, not actualized. You are still a coward, still afraid. You have a heart, but not yet a courageous heart. So to have a true relationship, a real relationship means to manifest the courageous heart. To manifest the courageous heart means to continue loving regardless of the situation. (Diamond Heart Book 4, pg 199)

Relationships and negativity

So when something negative happens in relationship, whether you feel hurt or anger or frustration, and that event makes you forget about love, then you know you are engaged in a relationship that is not real. You are involved in your mind and not in the actuality of the situation. You are not perceiving the real situation. You are not perceiving yourself in a real way. You are not perceiving the other in a real way. You are not seeing the relationship in a real way. You are not in contact with the other person. You are only in contact with that part of your mind, but not with reality. (Diamond Heart Book 4, pg 200)