Growth

We have seen that growth is movement toward greater freedom in the perception and response to reality as it unfolds from one situation to the next. The person lives more and more in the moment, responding to each situation freshly and uniquely. This implies greater freedom from the repetitive and compulsive patterns of perception and action, and we have seen that this means greater freedom from the unconscious. The unconscious controls the present by virtue of not being available to consciousness. It is not available to consciousness because of the ego defenses, which are necessary for the ego to defend itself, at least in part, against the superego. The resulting situation is the transference of the past onto the present, and the consequent loss of reality. From this perspective, we see that self-realization is equivalent to the end of all transference. (Work on the Superego, pg 10)

Growth, expectations and allowing

So, we’re seeing here that the most elementary, most external requirement for growth is the willingness to let go of what you believe should happen, what you believe things should be, what you believe will make you happy. Because when you do change, you are no longer the person who thought you knew what you would change into. You will be a different person… there is a need for an attitude of allowing, allowing things to emerge, to change, to transform, without anticipating how it should happen. You can direct things only according to the way you are now. You can conceive of the future only according to the blueprints you already know. But real change means that the blueprint will change. (Diamond Heart Book 1, pg 165)