Growing Up
What essentially happens in the process of really growing up
is that you don’t need your mother or your father any more.
You don’t need to have your mother inside you, or outside
you. In the course of the work of dissolving the mother inside
you, you have to deal with the fear that there will be nothing
there to support, protect, comfort, or nourish you. But you learn
that you do have these capacities in yourself. What takes the
place of the mother – first the physical and then the psychological
mother – is your Essence. To recognize, realize, integrate,
and develop your Essence is to become an adult. Your Essence is
you. It is not something you learn from your mother, it is not
being like her, or relating to your superego. No, it is being
your real self. (Diamond Heart Book 1, pg 186)