Good Mother

The deepest layers in both self and object images are composed of undifferentiated self-object representations. So the deepest and most basic layers of the "good" mother image are primarily those of the "good" undifferentiated self-object representations. So when an individual feels the loss, or possibility of loss, of the mother's image, he might be feeling the loss of these deep layers. The deepest experiences of losing mother must be those of the loss of these undifferentiated representations... Our view is that the loss of the "good" undifferentiated representation leads to the activation of the Merging Essence. (The Pearl Beyond Price, pg 229)

Good mother, separation and conflict

The obvious implication is that physical and emotional separation become possible because -- besides the maturation of body and mind -- mentally and emotionally one remains close to mother. The sense of self does not feel abandoned by the mother, does not feel completely alone, because mother is still around, as a cathected image. So one can feel independent and can function in a separate and autonomous manner because there is a constant (although mostly unconscious) feeling of the mother's nearness... now we can use this understanding to see what happens when one experiences Being, as in the state of the Personal Essence. The experience of the Personal Essence feels like a sense of autonomy, independence, individuation and so on. However, since one still identifies with ego or reverts to this identification, one believes that such autonomy is more separation than one can handle. One feels that his distance from mother, emotionally, is becoming bigger, and this is felt as a threat to his sense of identity, as a pressure on his level of integration. And if the individual still has unresolved conflicts about separation, dating back to the first few years of life, then this will be activated by the pressure of the essential experience. (The Pearl Beyond Price, pg 217)